Daily Help Through Service
I graduated from the school of thought which teaches that each person has a great capacity for influencing others — either for good or evil. Depending on the context, this power to influence can be wielded on a regular basis to help those around you.
The levels of burn-out, anxiety, and depression that medical students experience seems to be growing vastly these days (as a side-thought, it is interesting to note how the focus of attention has been directed toward the self in proportion with these increasingly negative blights on mankind). There is an opportunity for the individual in helping our peers, friends, and colleagues in bearing these burdens.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak...” -James 1:19a
From personal experience, we can easily understand how it benefits us to plainly have the opportunity to voice our frustrations from time-to-time. There seems to be some therapeutic process when we are in an emotionally upset state and get the opportunity to talk through our problems with somebody who is willing to really listen.
If you are both watchful for somebody who appears to be particularly stressed, and you are open to hearing their struggles, then you just might have the occasion to play a role in helping this individual bear their burden.
Even if they are not willing, or comfortable, to share their problems with you at the time, they can, at minimum, leave knowing that they are not alone; that you can be there for them to listen should they feel inclined to share with you in the future. Furthermore, if they do unburden themselves, then you may have understanding enough to offer sound advice.
An older doctor told me that one of the most important skills he learned as a medical student was how to listen to the patients. He would take time from his days to ask them about their medical conditions, which would 1.) provide the patients reprieve from the sheer boredom that comes with being admitted into a hospital, 2.) help the patient feel subjectively better to off-load their troubles onto a willing company, and 3.) sometimes offer the student useful insight about the patient’s history, which could be used in guiding their treatment.
“A person finds joy in giving an apt reply- and how good is a timely word!” – Proverbs 15:23
There are times when listening is the best remedy, but other instances may require proper advice in an appropriate season.
It was Plautus who wrote: “Every man, however wise, needs the advice of some sagacious friend in the affairs of life.” Seeking advice is not a sign of weakness and it is not bad to do. In fact, it is most natural to seek counsel when we find ourselves stuck in some particular trouble. As friends and loved ones, it can be easy for us to desire insertion of unwanted advice. In these cases, it is best to hold our tongues and wait for an appropriate time to speak. The timing for giving advice can be ascertained by simply asking permission to lend your counsel. If they accept, then you might have saved them some trouble in the future. If they reject, you should respectfully acquiesce to their decision and wait for a suitable time.
A well-timed word will linger longer and have further impact.
“And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept…they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” -Job 2:12a-13b
Though I have continued to turn my own life around and build it up, there are several from my old circle of friends and my family who have remained in the same destructive patterns. The consequences have left behind a string of tragedies which my family and I have borne through the years. From this, I have learned what it means to grieve in solitude and corporately as well.
There are times when words are not helpful or even necessary for comforting one another. One of the greatest comforts that I have experienced through irreversible heartbreak is having somebody be present with me. In these times — especially after experiencing the premature loss of a loved one — comfort came in the form of simply sitting and weeping together.
No words can reach a suffering person as deeply as the actions of being with them during a period of mourning and shouldering their grief.
In serving others, there are opportunities to notice and accept the troubles of the people who are around you daily. We cannot fix the whole world, or even our entire city, but we can assume the burdens of those who suffer within our scope of influence by practical means. There may be some discomfort in the process, but in the end, we could help to ease a trouble or even save a life.
Travis Nash
Osteopathic Medical Student - 2nd Year (OMS II)
Pacific Northwest University of Health Sciences