My Invisible Illness: Living with Migraine Headaches
Imagine walking up the stairs of the stage to receive your diploma.
Your family and friends surround you and are there to celebrate the culmination of years of perseverance and dedication. Naturally, you think to yourself: "Please don't trip.” Little does everyone know, you’re also thinking: "Please don't puke in front of all these people."
That was my high school graduation experience.
I lined up with my friends, excited to walk across that stage and begin my new chapter, but I was quickly overcome with those all-too-familiar warnings of an impending attack. Fortunately, I was able to compose myself well enough to accept my diploma. Then I bolted for the nearest exit. I will spare you the details of what happened next, but let's just say it was a struggle to stay behind and commemorate the day with pictures when all I wanted to do was lay down.
Migraines are very much an invisible illness—often times those around you won't even know that you have them. You can appear as normal and functional as the next person, but when that migraine attacks, it feels like you're wearing a mask and trying your best to blend in. It's isolating and embarrassing at times. I’ve missed out on countless life moments and have even suffered academically because of them.
Having a migraine means that even the dimly-lit numbers of the alarm clock can cause inexplicable discomfort. It means that even the faintest of smells can leave you doubled-over. It means being cautious of what you eat during an attack for fear that you will never want to eat it again. Migraines have a way of heightening all your senses and then turning them against you. You can hear your blood as it pulsates through your body. Every sound becomes amplified and makes your head throb. The only comfort that can be found is in the confines of a quiet room, devoid of light, with an ice pack over your eyes.
Migraines put an end to normal activity; they physically halts you from accomplishing what you set out to do that day.
Suffering from migraines, I used to feel extremely guilty and overwhelmed when I was unable to maximize the hours in my day. Perhaps this is why I feel compelled to squeeze so much into every waking moment of my healthy, migraine-free days. I never know when a migraine will strike, which is probably why I've been conditioned to live this way. It has made me feel less capable than my peers. Migraines have made me self-conscious. I don’t even like talking about them, especially with people who have never experienced one.
It’s not just a headache. It’s not mildly annoying. I can’t just push through it. It’s excruciating, disruptive, and has made me even contemplate if I could handle going in to the medical field.
“What should happen if I become ill when I have patients to look after,” I would think.
After much consideration, I decided to pursue medicine anyway, and though it has complicated some things along the way, I do not regret this decision.
Along my journey, I have met other migraine sufferers. Hearing their stories has helped me to see that I am capable of pursuing my goals, despite the physical limitations that I’m faced with.
I still have rough days where studying is near impossible and productivity comes to a halt. By sharing my struggles, I hope to connect with others who are suffering in silence. I’m still in pursuit of something that will help my pain. OMT is an avenue that gives me hope.
Don't give up trying to find what may alleviate your pain. For most, it seems that multiple treatments and remedies are in order. That’s okay. Listen to your body. Learn from it.
Unfortunately, there does not seem to be a "cure all" for migraines. I do not have all the answers, but I urge you — do not lose hope.
Krista Luntsford
Osteopathic Medical Student - 2nd Year (OMS II)
Pacific Northwest University of Health Sciences
Senator for Campus Programs, Class of 2022
President, Pediatrics Club, ACOP Chapter
National Liaison, AMWA